Moetzes Gedolei ha'Torah of Lakewood trying on a new look

In a surprise announcement, the Moetzes Gedolei ha'Torah of Lakewood, NJ, has ruled that the recent madness which has enveloped the Orthodox Jewish dating and shidduch world should immediately come to an end.

Singles across every spectrum of the Orthodox world were overjoyed with the news. "This is wonderful news," said Faigie Cohen of Monsey, NY. "My parents can finally use that beautiful green Shabbos tablecloth they have been hiding for years. And I can safely reveal that I went to Camp Morasha for one summer, without jeopardizing my shidduch chances."

Chananya Weissman, the founder of EndtheMadness, had mixed feelings about the madness finally ending. "I guess I have to change the name of the organization--or maybe disband it completely," said Weissman. "I'm also wondering where I will find meaning in life following this proclamation. Maybe I'll become a shadchan."

Sources have confided that the Moetzes is also considering ordering Moshiach to come, declaring that earning a living is a good thing, and acknowledging that Gedolim are made, not born.