Alf gives his victory speech

With a typical smile only found on Planet Melmac, Alf stood proudly before the myriads of onlookers as he became president of EndTheMadness.

“My fellow beings: to all of you who like hopping music, who hate musicals, who love eating cats... I mean who love eating AND love cats, who have DVD copies of when I went on The Tonight Show, and who have parades on my birthday on the 28th of Nathanganger, I thank all of you. This is a great day for me and... me... and... everybody and all the members of EndTheMadness. Thank you.”

Hoping to put a more human look on the EndTheMadness organization, the board members voted on the famous Melmacian unanimously. Even Chananya Weissman, founder of EndTheMadness, looked forward to becoming but a mere shadow behind the great Alf.

“I am but a ladybug on the giant Alf Tree, a cockroach in the Alf Empire State Building, a rusted nut in the Alf SuperHighway, a letter in the Alf shas, a hair in the Alf mane.... I shall serve Alf with all my heart, my money, and my toupée.”

Many people welcomed the change in the organization.

“This shows that they care not just about the common man and woman, but for those who are neither! Too many people discriminate against people who aren't male or female. EndTheMadness is on the vanguard of supporting the forgotten who are left behind who deserve soulmates just as much as those of us who aren't aliens. Now we need to lobby congress to support alien-human marriage and divorce and visitation rights for the beautiful alienettes who will be born form these loving relationships.”

Others questioned the wisdom of the choice.

“This is a travesty to all people! I mean, soon you're going to have aliens marrying humans, threating the very fabric of society, turning it upside-down like a toilet sucking water into the drain, until all our morals will disappear. And then we'll want to allow poeple to marry animals! There's no end in sight! We must not wallow in our quietude! Woe unto us for we have fallen to deeper depths. EndTheMadness is the source of all evil in the world and we should send ALL members to Planet Melmac to eat cats and frolic with aliens.”

With all the brou-haha surrounding his appointment, Alf knew just what to say to keep everybody at ease.

“Pass me the salsa and chips. Mud-wrestling ex-presidents, hosted by Arnold Schwarzenegger, is on NBC!”

And while most people disagreed with Alf's taste in TV shows, everybody realized that with Alf at the helm, EndTheMadness would follow the lead of whoever supplied Alf with the most salsa and chips. And in this way, EndTheMadness would lead the cause of dating people based on their preferences with chips and salsa instead of other less important questions.