Services
Onlysimchas simchah checker
Need to find out which one of your friends has a simchah? Our experts can wade through all the OnlySimchas pages finding all people who possily will be connected to you, saving you hours of daily OnlySimchas toiling
Quantity:
Price: $10
Frumster wingman
Sick of meeting people on frumster you don't like? Hire our trained professionals. We'll date the person, dump them, and report to you on the goods. Don't try frumster without us!
Quantity:
Price: $100
Chazzan decoy
Sick of being asked to be chazzan? Hire our trained profesional weekly minyan chazzanim for days when it's "your" turn. You'll never have to be chazzan ever again!
Quantity:
Price: $2000
Yeshiva coach
Think you can't handle the pressure in the best yeshivas to learn all morning? Tempted ever to "shmooze" about non-gemara topics? Hire our ex-football yeshiva morning seder coaches to shout in your face and tell you what a balebus you are! Snap into a Slim Jim!
Quantity:
Price: $250
Cherem drive-thru
Cherem (50% of sales). Do you have a book to sell or a project to promote? What better way to draw attention to your product and drive sales than with a Cherem? Our specialists have inside connections with the biggest Gedolim and poster-putter-uppers to guarantee that you and your product will be vilified in the most outrageous and exaggerative fashion. Then you can sit back and watch demand
Quantity:
Price: $1000
Cherem Removal
Had enough? Time to marry off children? We can facilitate your re-entry into the community. (15% restocking fee for cancelling a cherem within 30 days.)
Quantity:
Price: $1000
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